Life in India with BPD:

  • Intelligence Quotient x Emotional Quotient = BPD !!

    Look what I found in my drafts. Yes, about 2 years ago I wrote this….damn! I still wanna share coz it reminded me how confused I was and how much I used to cuss…hehe. Shortly after this post, I dumped my therapist. Why? Coz she was gaslighting me. She was telling me I have BPD… Continue reading

  • Trying to Envision a future for me:

    So, here I am. Today. I got a divorce a month ago, after 23 years of marriage and decades of abuse. Still disbelief that I did it. I did it. Still not sunk in I feel…. I want to share the story behind my “I did it” with you, the universe, because this is the… Continue reading

  • I am back…

    The Moon and the Tree Story by R. Pic by C. Once there stood a tree. One morning it looked at other trees and thought they looked so beautiful n full of life with their lush green leaves n flowers, so happy n full of life. Then it looked in the mirror and said…I cant… Continue reading

  • The end.

    My dear readers… I started writing on this blog to help just one person…I don’t want anyone to endure so much pain. Turns out …it was me that needed the help. You all…every post I read has been thought provoking and made me ask questions… So… I will take a break and heal and come… Continue reading

  • SFO Airport triggers BPD symptoms:

    Well…exactly as it says. I have been travelling through a few international airports over last 3 weeks. And my experience at the San Francisco Airport international Terminal 1 was quite shattering. It made me wonder, how the world carries on, without any consideration or kindness towards a mentally whatever person. Fuck mental…just kindness. I believe… Continue reading

  • The Moon and the BPD return Home

    Yes. Today…in the dark hours. I rode silently in the back of the car. Reached home to be Greeted by Mr. Moos. He howled and made these tiny yelping sounds…sniffing me! Then he went on to the balcony and sat looking for my daughter. Him waiting and looking out, made my heart go out to… Continue reading

  • BPD Glitches in CA.

    So…. It took me 10 days to get my act together…my bowel movements and my sleep and my coffee times, blogging time, appetite…everything went for a toss given the 12 hour time difference and my age difference and changing hotels.. Teehee The mission is accomplished though …my daughter has started college. And she is doing… Continue reading

  • I can be a BPD n more!

    So… Am sitting here under a tree…at the university campus. Absorbing the facts of what’s happened n happening in my life. I didn’t just travel half way across the world…I crossed a lot of time…my memories coming back. Arriving here after 11 years of being away….is still surreal. My daughter will start college and then… Continue reading

  • The moon has landed in usa: BPD be gone!

    Morning west coast… I am alive and awake and smiling but mostly crying with gratitude. I left India with a mission in mind. To drop my daughter to college. But when I arrived here, ì donno what happened. I had anticipated some crying…but I watched myself disassociate as familiar things caught my eye…small things… Unknown… Continue reading

  • The Moon on the move:

    ….so this is a tough one. I have returned to my home country after 7 years and the entire journey and last 3 days here have been very painful. I have to disassociate and keep a facade so I don’t crumble infront of my daughter. I was not expecting my depression to hit rock bottom…I… Continue reading

About Me

An English diarist and naval administrator. I served as administrator of the Royal Navy and Member of Parliament. I had no maritime experience, but I rose to be the Chief Secretary to the Admiralty under both King Charles II and King James II through patronage, diligence, and my talent for administration.