• Gaslighting is in the fabric of Indian Culture!

    Morning beautiful people of the Universe…who are geographically misplaced and landed in Bangalore by mistake. The other are lucky…just don’t know yet!! 😉 I discovered the word ‘gaslighting yesterday…and went…whoa…which planet have you been on Seestaa!! ( sister!) Warning: My mind is racing…truth emerging…so there is bound to be some nonsense that Only empaths can… Continue reading

  • Height of Ignorance:

    https://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/seven-signs-you-are-a-victim-of-gaslighting-fiff/ Continue reading

  • Can you help me find me?

    I cannot see myself….i just can’t. But i need to find Raina. I write to you I can feel you I hear you and I can relate if you say something nice I feel thankful and kind. But i dont feel it. I dont beleive you? I want to maybe! A friend from childhood reached… Continue reading

  • The moon in captivity:

    I Wake up every morning…and get ready for the day…determined to smile for the girls and get through the day. But today I felt no matter what i do or say…i will be held captive and my pleas ignored. What do I say? Anything that i say is stupid. Why do i scream in pain… Continue reading

  • The universe is watching over me:

    I wish I had used a computer and researched more about BPD, when I was first diagnosed at the age of 47. But i didnt… I stopped reading or watching tv or going to movies…10 years ago. I stopped tasting food…i stop craving food…i can’t remember how and when this happened to me. Last year… Continue reading

  • Feeling Tired : a symptom of borderline personality disorder

    I remember going to the mall and wanting to run out of there…cause i am not used to it…Draining me of my energy and getting skittish! When i Find a person to HELP me get a job done….eg. a salesgirl ..when i Need their help…need someone to help…because I am stretched beyong breaking point etc…But… Continue reading

  • My trip to ER …got me tripping since then…:-)

    2 days ago: This is for the 2 young nurses who attended to me at the ER at 10pm …when i was spiking 102.7 fever and turns out a bad tummy bug! 😦 Am feeling much better now. He was putting drip and it started to swell…and then i chanted to tolerate my pain…thought of… Continue reading

  • I just made a wish!

    After writing the previous one i started to think of a wish to make…. Actually its funny…coz i barely step outta the moon. A womans day that is celebrated by the women on the streets of the world. Sorry…no men allowed. Yes…it means …. all men stay at home that day and women come out… Continue reading

  • Wishes do come true….timing is unpredictable!

    Wishes do come true…but when they will come true is unpredictable. Therefore be very specific and careful when wishing….i am dead serious…coz i have been burnt! Or (do what i do) Wish for something that will always be on Time! Universe? Love? A simple smile… A hug from a stranger A surprise visitor (my God… Continue reading

  • My BPD is location based:

    I just realized that i am not like this in Delhi or Roorkee. My favourite city and my home town respectively. Infact when i go to a new place and meet new people….i am quite happy. Does that mean that if i was in a prison…BPD symptoms will peak. But when BPD people are left… Continue reading

About Me

An English diarist and naval administrator. I served as administrator of the Royal Navy and Member of Parliament. I had no maritime experience, but I rose to be the Chief Secretary to the Admiralty under both King Charles II and King James II through patronage, diligence, and my talent for administration.