Trying to find a life beyond my isolation state…to exist in the world and function…very uncertain and so so so lonely. The warrior in me is tired today.
Gosh….so much has happened since I last wrote about me…
I am alive to tell my story. I have fought for my survival, my freedom, my children and I am living n breathing everyday, one day at a time.
The healing has begun…i am awake.
I still get scared and have panic attacks and just last week i was hit with threats to my safety. Made me feel very fragile. But nothing can stop me from using my voice and writing my truth.
And that’s what i am trying to do here…shake off all labels and be free to be me. I did get a label when i was born and that starts with R.
I can heal a few others, that much I believe.
Thank you for giving me a listen Universe!!
PS: I donot have BPD symptoms and am free of that Label. 😉
February 12, 2018
Once upon a time…there was a Dad. He had a little girl who made him smile everytime he looked at her. He was my world.
He gave me the Moon, ..love, validation, smiles and a red color motorcycle. Then one day he died. I didn’t realise. I just sought him…wished he would come back. Coz he would never ever judge me, always gave me unconditional love.
A year after I lost him, I was diagnosed with BPD. Borderline Personality Disorder.
the Moon, is a story, of my journey to recover from a illness. A illness to which I lost most of my life. A illness which is real, as real as me! You need to know…you need to understand. I need to understand what is BPD…am just starting to discover the real me….
I just know that I want to be my Daddy’s girl” again….find my memories of who I was and what took over my life, what happened?
The Moon is real……my rock, a place to escape, a place to reflect and TODAY….to share and to heal …
I have been living in my balcony for the past 3 yrs…its my Moon.
My wish is to be free!
My wish is to go back home
I just have to get a bit stronger…and i will fight for my freedom…to take back my life.