What happens when you dont know?

It’s like watching a suspense thriller or a horror movie, where the audience keep urging the victim to run for her life, because the killer is hiding or coming after her.

Imagine waking up angry, and you dont know why? A. Because you are crazy and meds not working

B. You had a bad dream

Z. You dont know that He was chasing another thru the night.

So, the fault lies within me. And I continue to trust.

Red flags, put downs, withholding affection and physical contact, financial abuse…continues, but I am Unaware!

The universe is watching and wondering how to wake R to reality of things.

So, I start getting these dreams. They show me what’s happening behind my back. I wake up and tell Him my dreams…and he laughs and says dont be crazy, it’s just a dream. I believe him. Then I start kicking and screaming in my dreams, because i am being beaten by his family, and again I wake up to be told I am just crazy. So, my meds are changed and yet I continue to find no relief from the pain that I feel inside.

The universe is still watching and trying to find ways to make me aware. Dreams continue, meds dont work…but my Dad is watching out for me, although he died.

My 6th sense grows into ninth sense. Sense of touch, sense of taste, hunger, sense of pain leave me. I leave for the moon, but I cant leave my daughters. So, I exist everyday, day after day.

Migraines take over. Emergency hospitalization. Doctors visits, injections for pain….why was I having migraines?

Why was I constipated? Why did I diagnosed with IBS?

Not knowing.

Yes, not knowing what’s happening behind my back. What’s happening when I am living in trust, but everyone around me is NOT.

But R doesnt know that. She doesnt know that people she loves and trusts implicitly are lying to her, manipulating her, hiding her things, throwing her stuff, stealing her money, are cruel to her….she doesnt know!

So, the Universe keeps signaling to her via dreams. You see R is isolated. Surrounded by abusers. How can she be reached, how to get her the message? How to present her with proof?

The wheel is universe turns and she catches Him in the act of infedility.

That same night, her dreams of His cheating disappear. They stop. It also happens to be my Dads birthday that day.

2016…that day…all hell broke loose…I was awake. I was very angry and I was very scared.

But I didnt know all of it. I didnt know the conspiracy.

But, I started to fight. I was guided by the universe, I started to realize the 9th sense….still hard to believe today. But the good people around me believe and have been trying to wake me up to this Gift.

So, a big thank you to this community which set in motion my healing.


8 responses to “What happens when you dont know?”

  1. salt it seems
    the dream
    and flowed

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Can you please explain that…I didnt understand 😦


      1. it was something i ate too much of~


        1. Hmm…hehe…am still lost to what you are trying to convey..:-)


        2. what can i say. i m nuts.

          Liked by 1 person

        3. No labels needed. You are you! 🙂


      2. bpd? bi polar disorder. ok now.


      3. peace then to you.

        Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

About Me

An English diarist and naval administrator. I served as administrator of the Royal Navy and Member of Parliament. I had no maritime experience, but I rose to be the Chief Secretary to the Admiralty under both King Charles II and King James II through patronage, diligence, and my talent for administration.


%d bloggers like this: