Look what I found in my drafts. Yes, about 2 years ago I wrote this….damn!
I still wanna share coz it reminded me how confused I was and how much I used to cuss…hehe.
Shortly after this post, I dumped my therapist. Why? Coz she was gaslighting me. She was telling me I have BPD and denying all signs of abuse or even acknowledging that I was in a murderous abusive relationship.
Since dumping her…I went no contact, I have made so much progress and BPD symptoms are but a distant memory.
So… here goes….
June 14, 2018 : r wrote the following…
So….a month ago…my therapist (I love her….we are connected)
I was arguing with her…”i am not intelligent. I am stupid. I can’t write a check. I can’t do math.. I am a sick useless person, i can’t even feel my own skin
She said …”Rain aa.. .who says intelligence is measured by how many marks you score or how many cuts you have..there is something called Emotional Intelligence” EQ….and Rainaaa…you have a very high EQ….which makes you feel everything around you…you can empathise, you have a gift!
And i remember thinking and speaking at the same time (2 different topics)
My EQ said: me…really…high EQ…thats why you call it BPD?
Thoughts going through my head…” o shit…what if the aliens kidnap me and use me as a lab rat?” …
“Is high EQ a good thing?”
“Then why didnt we learn about it in school?”
Does anybody here …reading me right now…Anybody get a degree in EQ?
Duke …IV league university I hear produces very successful people. Right? How many of these people have Done a EQ in Labs?!! 😉
(I Googled and found this…because i went looking for the spelling of Coeffiecent…and then thought ” Raina…behanchod…its EQ…. spelling should start wiyh a Q. I tried and i tried and the fkg autocorrect did not help! So….i turned to Google! 🙂
- a number representing a person’s reasoning ability (measured using problem-solving tests) as compared to the statistical norm or average for their age, taken as 100.
I have a PH.D. in EQ from the Universe. I am waiting for FedEx to deliver to the Moon! 😉
Intelligent means: everybody is intelligent but me.
Everything means: EVERYTHING!! Duhhh!! Which school did you go to? Who make you a behanchod a CEO? intelligent phones are a big thing!
I really don’t have time for this…i have to balance the whole universe today AND make sure the girls are fed and happy…the maid is not coming today… I have to visit the store…my little one thinks today her mumma will take her for haircut, then i have a meeting with my Financial Advisor and another one with the attorney….
So……please Google EVERYTHING
( Gosh….i feel like I am going crazy…they tell me and make me believe that meraa dimaag kharaab hai…how am I crazy? IF I know the definition of EVERYTHING and YOU behanchod.. .you dont. …bachpan mey teree maa mar gayee thi Kya….maa baap nae kuch naee seekhaya (didn’t your parents teach you anything?…I was asked? And I am thinking to myself…my parents taught me EVERYTHING….but I can’t prove it.
Judge saahab….me lord..dear prime minister….Dear Police station…emails…letters..tweets (like birds?) Telepresence calls….meet
ngs meetings meetings…
I Can’t do it anymore. I dont even wanna ask for help….i just wanna die…i cannot STOP the pain)
Please hang me on FB!!
Publicize on xyz….
(Pssss: I will WordPress from the Moon. I am not leaving. I am hiding in the universe)