What do you want? Why do you want? BPD

Howdy from india!

I am hoping for a lovely day… 🙂

I couldn’t sleep…had to travel to USA to get a hug…from a traveller who I respect…he is a very kind person and a seasoned empath. It was in my dream…..yaa.. .but exhausts me to travel so far. But I did get the hug I needed in time!

So…I have to rest today. Because last 3 days I have been working very hard…very abnormal for me. Taking care of the needs and demands of 4 earthlings is a responsibility that’s making me cuss in hindi. When I cuss in hindi language..it means ” hide for cover”. The F word whispered under my breath…if you hear it…is a warning. I dont like it atall when I loose it. Because i am not that kind of person. But you bring out the beast I me…When you push me!

I took my girls to the mall for shopping. They won’t buy clothes without me. Teens !!? As soon as we arrived…the loud music and all the sounds surrounded me. I avoid looking at people…coz then it makes me cry the next day…if I feel their pain. Just then my phone starts to ring and that’s another sound or disturbance in what i was focussing on doing…help girls select their clothes. I dont shop for me in the malls…it’s very dearly priced. I get all my clothes from my store, since I don’t get a salary. The best fabrics at my disposal…it’s funner coz it’s so sweetly priced.

So its been 2 hours at the mall and i am sweating and have exhUsted my watwr bottle. No aircon…welcome to India mall…. I start exhibiting signs of exhaustion and was hot and just done!…3 hours later I was alive. My daughters had started cracking me up…joking…ooh..mumma is gonna loose it..we better hurry…and one look at their naughty faces and I start smiling… 🙂 helped for an hour.

We got home… mission accomplished.

Coming back to the questions…

I started asking me these questions a few months ago…( Kim Krans book) and it has helped me to make better decisions…better than flipping a coin in the math exam and barely passing 🙂

Please Ask yourself

What do I want

Why do I want

What am I doing

Why am i doing

Who do I trust

Why do I trust

Who am I

I just finished 19.8kms on the bike. That’s who I am.

I hope it helps one person out there in the Universe.

I beleive we are connected…if that’s true then we can heal each other within 24 hours…at the stroke of midnight…You reckon?

These pics are inspired by Richards works at photosociology blog on WordPress.

I am trying to explain how we are connected. Sigh…


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About Me

An English diarist and naval administrator. I served as administrator of the Royal Navy and Member of Parliament. I had no maritime experience, but I rose to be the Chief Secretary to the Admiralty under both King Charles II and King James II through patronage, diligence, and my talent for administration.


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