2 hours in the shoes of a BPD woman!

My story today…Hmm

Since the rescue trip to Roorkee to bring my sick mom back…I have had a couple of days to recover!! Yet today I seem to be fighting tiredness.

My responsibilities just went up…like ….here’s a list to do…no choices…

So…I have found a way…teehee

I know I can plan a day very quickly and am able to alter them as well…at the drop of a hat! Its like 200% quickly.

So ….I do everything in my head …like decide what needs to happen today. Then I designate tasks to my support staff…and make sure it happens, period.

Since I woke up…

Moms blood test done. Nurse came.

One kid gone to school and the other grounded for horsing around, literally instead of packing her bags to leave for college.

The dog has barked at my mom and affected my hearing and mood. Ear plugs!

I processed 6 and more frequencies of sound in the last minute, each recognizable.

…..the 3 different kinds of birds talking and the cart getting dragged, the dry branch of the tree being bent and broken, the hum of the maruti, my own pulp fiction soundtrack in the background ( its playing on repeat for 4 days now…making me smile and happy…i love it). The beep of my bike machine telling me I have done 14kms so far (Did 19km 🙂

Lunch and dinner are figured out. The blood work people will come again at 11.30…again to check blood sugar.

At the shop, today I pray we get a customer. We are doing a sale! Spoke to the salesgirl and the driver to convey today’s plan. Since the shop is in a new building and construction is still going on….so no visibility. And the Blady electrical guy needs chased to Insta the security cameras. Carpenter went to another funeral in the family…hehe.

Moving some furniture around to make space. My brother is arriving from USA on Sunday and we have 8 suitcases open! I am looking forward to seeing him after 2.5yrs…but my BPD is cringing with the fear of Loosing it….coping with so much. I will have to mange 5 people, feed them n make sure everyone is smiling. I will be fine though, my brother will help with mom, she seems to listen to him better. Mom’s n sons.

Now…focus on packing my bags and book a hotel…hee hee

I am going back home…well..to USA west coast. My tickets are booked. I am gonna drop my older daughter to college. It’s a 20 day trip. I will be going after 7 years. I have been preparing myself for this…for last 1 year…and now the times come. I still have 10 days more to recover from BPD and become a fully functioning human model of the universe.

Now…I will sit in my balcony And look at the Sky, and watch some butterflies…. while things happen magically. I wished it 😉

Namaste

Ps: i really wanted to share this pic. My mom’s 81 year old feet

Mine 51 years

How far have we come!

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