Healer, predator or the Victim: BPD deliemma!


Am sitting in my balcony,

Looking at the Sky

Thoughts running like a river

Connecting dots…

And i am asking and wondering again..who am I?

A predator, a victim Or a healer

I think I have a little bit of everything and everyone I meet…in me. I feel it. I feel you. I dont choose. I am programmed like this…feeling my way through life….gathering my own stories. But all my stories have you and you and you in it. I couldn’t have come this far…51 years…without all of you…my universe.

So I wish all of you to heal and smile. It’s a beautiful day to make magic.

I am not a victim. I dont wanna be a victim. I was not in a flood.

I dont think I am a predator. I dont feed on others…like the dinosaurs do. I feel like a predator and will act like a predator if i feel that my girls are threatened. I am not looking for food…but i will chew you out if you stand in my way. I am a strong person and grew up with a brother. All we did was fight and wrestle and play cricket and break windows…hehe it prepared me to get in and out of a physical fight if I am attacked. Fair enough!?

Now…the healer part. I can heal you. And when you are healing I heal…I smile…I am content.

Yes…I must heal myself. And iyam! I feel it. I have come such a long way since I started blogging…writing here. I have allowed myself to be touched by all the angels…by you. Yes…you and me…together we can make so much noise and so much chutzpah and so much magic…that everyone would wanna be in our corner…the mentally right corner…the exceptionally kind corner! Take over the world….

I know of no other way….right now.

Do you?

my old home at the university of Roorkee…we stayed here for a few years. Broke the front wall window a few times…playing cricket. One time…my dad came home in the evening and put me and my brother out of the house for breaking the window a third time. And we stood there plotting to run away from home…But then dad came out smiling and took us in. I visited this home after 45 years. 🙂


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About Me

An English diarist and naval administrator. I served as administrator of the Royal Navy and Member of Parliament. I had no maritime experience, but I rose to be the Chief Secretary to the Admiralty under both King Charles II and King James II through patronage, diligence, and my talent for administration.


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