BPD on Pause: Called on Duty!

Once upon a moon…

I sat on my balcony

And i looked at the Sky

As I looked a message flashed by..

A few hours later…

My mom is sick I got a call.

I got marching orders from my heart. So I put my BPD in pause mode and became a soldier on a mission.

The mission was to extract my mother and safely bring her to my home so she can get care and treatment. She is 80 and lives alone by choice.

From that moment on….i was on a alert…this mission depended on me. I left for the airport…

48 hours later here I am…back to base.

I successfully extracted the target and returned home. BPD could not stop me. Although triggers did cause me to wanna end my life. Which I did probably…. crying on.my dad’s pillow in his room …on his bed…I fell asleep.

I woke up the next morning ….to a new me…a agenda …and a desire to never leave my family behind.

I brought my dad’s ashtray back with me and my grandmoms pic and my mom.


The BPD can be paused!?

How did I do it.

What happened to bpd

I withstood gaslighting on this trip. Also stood up to men staring at me at the bank. I had to look them in the eye and ask what they were looking at and if they wanna make eye contact? Their was a police man with gun …a bystander watching…and I did his job!

Driving along Ganges river

My scooter from 1981

The house with no boundary walls…my dad’s thinking. I love it…the row of Ashoka trees stand guard on the house. A home that stands alone!

The monkey who attacked my Dad n hurt him bad.

I got hugs from a few kind people. It was like magic…meeting 2 childhood friends after ages. They were ao happy to see me and treated me so kindly. I made eye contact and saw so much love and tears of affection. I was just the same old Raina from childhood. Haha

Another kind girl…broke all protocols of being just a airline employee. She was so kind and caring and made the entire checking procedure rasy peasy. I felt like a VIP. Her smile matched with my smile. I thanked her with a hug and proceeded to board the flight. When I landed…Her sms was waiting for me…” ma’am I hope you and your mom reached Home safely”. 🙂

When the flight took off…I caught a glimpse of the Himalayan mountains. And that made me cry….it’s been 8 years since I seen them…I long to go where the clouds touch me. Òne day I will go there. But today I have a mission.

The end.


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About Me

An English diarist and naval administrator. I served as administrator of the Royal Navy and Member of Parliament. I had no maritime experience, but I rose to be the Chief Secretary to the Admiralty under both King Charles II and King James II through patronage, diligence, and my talent for administration.


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