I remember going to the mall and wanting to run out of there…cause i am not used to it…Draining me of my energy and getting skittish!
When i Find a person to HELP me get a job done….eg. a salesgirl ..when i Need their help…need someone to help…because I am stretched beyong breaking point etc…But something happens….and i loose the person very quickly…and curse the universe for taking my sanity and making life so difficult. And i would howl at the Sky.. .
What if universe was protecting my interests, what if they would have hurt me…because I don’t make the best choices in people…often getting hurt. Maybe…the universe is protecting me!
My therapist says…..as a person with bpd or depression or mental illness…people get tired very quickly….because our brain can’t stop asking questions…add to it any physical activity or throw in a mosquito bite…and it becomes a recipe to flee or growl at something!
So I must conserve my energy..what little I have…and use it for my own self…
I am trying to tell you that you are bound to feel tired…and drag your feet to do what you Must do…its one of the symptoms!!
So…if you are feeling tired…your body is telling you to slow down…sit down and let the universe heal you. Slowing down has helped me immensely…i can watch myself…i am not in a hurry..so I don’t worry…which makes me smile…because I beat one of the BPD symptoms by slowing down….i know the trick.
You cant begin to imagine how many things a single parent of 2 teen girls….who runs own business, must juggle all day…i have no idea how I did it…and continue to sustain myself…despite wishing to die or run away.
I am no longer in a hurry to live life before I die. I dont make lists anymore. I have managed to FIND time to brush my teeth…twice last week !! Combing my hair is a challenge still….
Hope this helps someone out there…i wish to the Universe.
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