Will I forgive myself?

“People with borderline personality disorder (BPD) can be intensely caring, warm, smart, and funny, but their behavior often drives away those closest to them.

For the longest time, I craved answers…I DID not EVER stop looking for “happiness”…..I did not wanna die like this….not having answers….hating myself, blaming others….Today is a big day…because I know I will die with no regrets in life!

….something didn’t add up. With the right doctor, medication and therapy, I have come this far…but I have a long way to go…IF I am able to forgive myself… for hurting so many people around me…for causing my daughters so much trouble….for LIVING with this disease for 50 years! How come I did not KNOW. why didn’t I see, how come nobody told me, WHY wasn’t it recognised………

People like me, are born creative…. in the minds of those tormented by mental illness, and when harnessed through poetry, art, music or writing it can be a powerful tool for recovery.”

We are not criminals, or bad people….but we deserve some empathy!! Trust me….I have found empathy for people with this illness….


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About Me

An English diarist and naval administrator. I served as administrator of the Royal Navy and Member of Parliament. I had no maritime experience, but I rose to be the Chief Secretary to the Admiralty under both King Charles II and King James II through patronage, diligence, and my talent for administration.


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