I don’t look like my mom symptom:

people ” You look just like your mom”

Raina: naah….I look like my Dad. (what I am feeling inside is: I don’t want to look like my mom, I want to look like Dad)

But, I worried about this for many decades….

Last month, I made a trip…just to see her. Not to go to Haridwar to daddy and then stop on the way… I surprised her…woke her from her sleep…

I went because I wanted to give her some love…. after years of fighting with her…NOT SEEING HER, or understanding? I don’t know….

But I watched her closely this time….I made sure I listened, I hugged her tighter, I overlooked the minor things that used to bug the hell out of me…I cried when I left her…and she didn’t understand why I was crying. I could not tell her that I can see her, I can see how she has been SO STRONG….I couldn’t say anything to her….I couldn’t even say “I am sorry mumma”


…..its very hard to explain…and maybe I can one day…..



Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

About Me

An English diarist and naval administrator. I served as administrator of the Royal Navy and Member of Parliament. I had no maritime experience, but I rose to be the Chief Secretary to the Admiralty under both King Charles II and King James II through patronage, diligence, and my talent for administration.


%d bloggers like this: