I can tell if someone is feeling awkward, uncomfortable, angry, upset etc. and I’ll approach people and comfort them, in the past and if I ever socialize I’m the one that people can talk about $#%^ to. This is where I don’t get the empathy thing…
But when it comes to anything in relation to me I’m waaay off the ball. I just think everybody hates me so I’ll read things that aren’t there, I always think people are angry/annoyed/bored with me and I’ll be hypersensitive to any slight movement or change in expression. But then again maybe I am right.
Plus, I went to a psychic on impulse a few months back (I flit between being open minded and critical on “that type of thing”) and she told me that I was psychic too and a good judge of character, first impressions instincts and all that..””
(I can say the above about me….but how did she know …I feel exactly like her!)
Last one week….since coming back from Auroville…I have been hanging by a rope! (weight issues)….a lot of stuff is going through my head and its confusing me….I am seeing things for the first time…and I am seeing HOW BLIND I was….but I CANNOT allow myself to use BPD as an excuse. I am a grown woman…I have to take responsibility for my actions. But what actions…what did I do? I COULDNT have!! More fighting. And ALL THIS TIME….raina keeps beating herself….you MUST have done something…so just apologize….and I apologise, when I feel you are cross with me. I have no understanding…why am I apologising, when I am the one feeling like shit….feeling horrible…crying… And then I just don’t want to HURT anyone ANYMORE….IT TIRES ME….so I stopped going out of my house. I was happier being alone. every time I meet someone, I bring their personality back with me….I hate crowds…ITs a lot of NOISE. Makes me feel restless and a desire to flee”. Since I know that I have a problem going to the malls….I don’t go there, UNLESS my girls want me to. Simple.
I feel that the “environment” at Auroville….opened my eyes…. Met 2 strong women, who happen to be entrepreneurs too….and made me feel “you aren’t the only crazy one” … I learnt a lot from them. When you have no network….you will be alone….and if you remain alone for a little bit more….you will see YOURSELF.
I can do this…its very simple for me. I notice everything….and I feel what you can not feel. I can even predict the size and age and favourite colours ….of my customers, at my clothing store. Thats the most fun for me….From the moment I lay eyes on you….I can feel your “energy”? its something….I know it…
I am quoting …I found this on THE google……. 🙂
“Interpersonal Sensitivity: Many individuals have noticed that some people with BPD have an amazing ability to read people and uncover their triggers and vulnerabilities. One clinician jokingly called people with BPD psychic.”