Wake up to the failures!

If you don’t get good marks, you are not going to be successful in life. Doesn’t matter if you are brilliant at singing.  Look at the neighbours kid, he does so well!

It doesn’t matter what you do, again and again and again….to prove you are also special.

A battle that you lost on the onset….

Coz no-one THOUGHT that you MIGHT be SUFFERING from a MENTAL ILLNESS.

Why?

We are choosing to live in denial. thats brilliant!

I am a daughter of India, and I am a living example of how our culture BREEDS borderline personality disorderly people.

Look around…. at your own sister and mother and wife and girlfriend and neighbours wife….

YES. I am talking about me, I am a WOMAN. And this is my file…

Girl is born…yay!

dress her up, take pics, send her to school, she won the trophy, yay!! Goes to college, gets a job. NOW what? Cultural peer pressure and marriage.

THAT’S when you go SHIT!

You are CONDITIONED to BE a certain person, loved and celebrated…

NOW, part 2 conditioning starts: Put yourself in a closet…

From being the centre of attention to putting yourself second.

“Mommy, he hits me when he gets drunk”…..

…..”you HAVE to adjust sweetheart, I love you baby, but you have 3 kids, what will you do….”  LOSS of identity….you HAVE to do this, otherwise what will people say.

Imposed. No choices. No validation.

I am NOT asking you to write poems for me…..

BUT

when I say I am feeling very hot, and can’t breathe, and get very uncomfortable in the heat, and YOU say….

“oh, why? everyone else is fine with it. whats your problem?”

Wham!! you just told me “What you are feeling is not REAL” or “It doesn’t matter how you feel” OR “I love you, just tolerate the heat”

this happens over and over again, and you get conditioned to ignoring yourself, to voicing your FEELINGS….

And one day you can’t ignore it, one day you scream, and next day you feel the same…..

Who are you to tell me what I am feeling is not VALID/TRUE TO ME! Seriously??

 

Posted in BPD.

3 thoughts on “Wake up to the failures!

  1. BPD sometimes needs assurance , do you love me ? Is this okay.. why is it so hot ? Not being listend to, not being acknowledged as a person hurts SO much because you are so empathetic and feel everything so deeply
    You would never dream of treating others they way they treat you !! Why don’t they notice ?? Because they just don’t…its the part of you that makes you so generous of spirit and so loving of others that also makes you vulnerable to being hurt so easily
    Because you notice things about others
    You see when they are uncomfortable and you care
    And it hurts when you don’t get that back
    I have the same BPD desi Mom..
    First I was scared then relived
    Sending you so much love

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Is this my Z? When I got diagnosed, I thought of you….You, my love, have said it so aptly. I am not scared…I feel lighter each day I discover something new about me…its fun!

      Like

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